Fenna van den Berg Coaching

Personal coach

Burnoutbehandeling / preventie


Limerence and hormones


Limerence is a feeling of intense infatuation, obsession, or romantic (sometimes non-romantic) passion that often arises involuntarily towards another person. It is characterized by a strong desire to be with that person and a persistent preoccupation with thoughts (and fantasies) about them. People in a state of limerence may experience physical and psychological effects like heart palpitations, sweaty palms, loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, sleeping problems, and loss of interest in other areas.

The experience of limerence is often attributed to the release of several hormones in the brain, primarily dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. 

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is involved in pleasure and reward-related behavior, and it is believed to be responsible for the pleasurable feelings and euphoria associated with limerence and contact with the other person. It is also responsible for the feeling of longing and craving associated with limerence, which intensifies as the desired relationship and contact remains unfulfilled.

Serotonin is another neurotransmitter that is involved in regulating mood and anxiety. Research suggests that people experiencing limerence exhibit lower than normal levels of serotonin, which may contribute to the heightened mood and emotional excitability associated with the condition. When there was depression, boredom, grief, or a life event that might have caused low serotonin people are more vulnerable to limerence. 

Norepinephrine is a hormone and neurotransmitter that is involved in the 'fight or flight' response. It plays a crucial role in maintaining the body's physiological arousal levels during times of stress or danger, and it is thought to contribute to the heightened emotional and physical sensations experienced during limerence. 

Other hormones, such as oxytocin and vasopressin, which are involved in social bonding and attachment, may also play a role in limerence. These hormones are released during sexual activity, physical contact, and intimacy, which may reinforce the feelings of infatuation and attachment in limerent individuals.

The experience of limerence may feel like a powerful and irresistible force, but it is ultimately a temporary condition that typically fades over time. Some people may mistake limerence for true love, having met their twinflame or soulmate, they take the strong lining for proof that the other person is their person.   it is so important to recognize that limerence is primarily fueled by hormonal and neurotransmitter imbalances in the brain. Of course, the other might have traits that are attractive, but the obstacles make the limerent hormones flow, not the compatibility. 

It is not uncommon for people to experience limerence towards multiple people throughout their lives, and it is not a reliable indicator of the outcome of a relationship. ( most relationships that start with limerence are not long-lasting) 

In conclusion, limerence is a complex emotional state that is characterized by intense infatuation and strong (romantic) feelings towards another person. The hormonal and neurotransmitter imbalances in the brain that are responsible for limerence can have a significant impact on an individual's emotions and behavior. While limerence can be a powerful force, it is no proof that a relationship will be formed and it's important to recognize its temporary and often irrational nature and to approach it with a balanced perspective.